Masturbation is still taboo!

Just wondering....women's right activists say item songs like 'munni bhai', 'chikni chameli' or 'fevicol' are the ones spoiling people and leading to rapes, they are asking censor board to ban them.  Cine people are taking on censor board for not allowing things, actors who act in these songs say its our right, freedom to do what we want to do, its our body, its not a 'yes'.  What is censor board supposed to do? 

When men watch these songs they are condemned, they should be ashamed of watching such things! Women who ogle at the man's butt or his six packs are also condemned! So why was these movies, songs made? 

Its the woman/man's right to do what they want to with their bodies, show what they want, but its not same woman/man's right to watch what is shown on screen! Only people laughing at this , is people who made money out of it! 

From few days I have been thinking its not treating women as object, son's being not brought up properly,  dirty songs, asking girls to cover up, asking son's to behave or whatever and however the list goes the reason for all the rapes. 

It is not being teaching kids about masturbation! We teach them about sex in sex education, and forget to tell them what to do about the libido! We teach them about good touch , bad touch , have we taught them about self touch? Make sex toys available in supermarkets so people stop using women and children as sex toys! 

I am sure my family who read this have already fainted but I am writing what I am thinking!

Happy mothers day to all moms who have preteens! God bless the fathers!

Last night we had a major meltdown! Crying, 'you always yell at me, scream at me , say what are you doing?, why are you doing?' As Vinod yelled at him after asking him nicely to get into bed at least 5 times!

Not sure if we are really being mean and yelling at him or its his hormones or some other stuff going on, we are having some rebel moments from few days! Repeating instruction more times than usual! We are losing patience and he tests it and rebels to follow them! I have been trying to say to myself and to Vinod, its exactly how I used to be that age so don't panic!

From past few weeks, he is allowed to watch Indian summers and sleep at 10 on sundays. As he has been coughing whole day and is wheezing still, I say ok to sleep in our bed when he asked, happily jumped into the bed and started chatting. Warned him twice at 10:15 and 10:20 but still continues. At 10.25 I draw big deep breath and ask him 'Sammu, I told you twice now that we are not talking about any subject(he tried 3 subjects testing if I will fall for any!) as it is too late but you are still continuing , so what does that mean?'. 

'That means I am not tired', was an immediate answer!

Another deep breath and 'ok, can you please go down and empty the dish washer?'

A low, monotone 'no....', 'why', 'because I don't want to do that in the middle of the night!'

'So what should you be doing in the middle of the night?', 'sleeping', 'so?' , 'goodnight, love you amma' and I hear a slow snore in 90 seconds!

I need to meet my GP and ask for "more patience" prescription tomorrow!

If this is preteens, how are teens going to be? Please can the next 8 years just disappear?!

Happy mother's day!  

Accidental apprentice

After a friend recommended me to read this book, I read Accidental Apprentice by Vikas Swarup. I liked the writing style, its good. I will probably read his Q&A now just to check out his writing.

I didn't like the movie Slumdog millionaire not because it was made by a foreigner as author puts it in this book or because I can't face the reality as many said then. I didn't like it because I have seen 1000s of rags to riches Indian movies, this was nothing new!

Cmon we have moved from such stories to alien challenging godmen now! We don't need another rags to riches movie that too made by a foreigner with all Indian(origin) actors and music director. If it was just a documentary about Dharavi then we would have probably banned it. But Danny Boyle was intelligent that way and roped in AR Rahman and made sure there are song and dance numbers so we keep quiet and let it reach oscars(in India it won't even reach filmfare ?!) . Something to learn Leslee Udwin? 

Coming to the novel, author is thoroughly inspired by Bollywood movies and Indian TV news channels! Current affairs made into tests, nice idea! There is no points for guessing who Nirmala Ben is, Priya cappoor is or for that matter Salim Ilyasi is! As I said good writing style. But if Danny Boyle or anyone else decides to make a movie, I still wouldn't like it! Because I don't want to watch another movie(haven't I watched 100s of them already?) where heroine has all the sorrow in the world! It doesn't matter if it happens in reality, I would personally prefer watching Chetan Bhagat's 2 states made into a movie by Abhishek Verman than this one probably. 

World's daughters and sons!

From past few days the whole Indian media and Indians from all over the world are discussing about this documentary. Pros and cons of allowing or banning people to watch this video :

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Gld1Bsj9CbI

I try to see why we are banning people from watching this? Are we ashamed of the act and these people reaching out to the world or are we trying to hide this from the world? When I see this film my natural instincts and instant reactions are unexplainable. I am angry about Indian judicial system, government, people and also this filmmaker for an instant! How on earth are men like these defence lawyers still alive? How is that a convicted rapist is given an international platform to explain an heinous crime and reasons behind it? Why is he still alive? Why is he not hanged?

Then I remember seeing this video just few hours ago :

http://www.indiatimes.com/videocafe/this-ted-talk-reveals-how-men-are-abused-in-indian-society-230599.html

What would happen to all these men if they are hanged without giving them a chance to defend themselves? 

I am very upset of being Indian, we the country of rich heritage and culture acting like animals, no serious consequences for crime like rape and also for people who accuse falsely and every other emotion I can feel stupidly in my rage!

Then I see this video :

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=c77N87HH5TM&feature=youtu.be

So its not just in India and Indians, this is here in UK ! In the place I am living now, one of the developed countries not a developing country like India, where Everyone thinks conviction is instant, guilty always punished, women are safe and what not! I find many more videos on youtube from different nationalities. 

So what is the conclusion? There is no evolution from animal to human being! Nothing happened! We are still animals! Male attacking female, female attacking male, natural in animal world! 

I haven't spoken about child abuse, child rape, child molestation and so on still! Then we are worser than animals because animals don't do that do their own, do they???!!!

What am I going to do about all this? Nothing! I am going to move on with my life and wait for either my end or the world to end! World to end..... Thats sounds promising!!!

Theist

I am a theist! I am proud to be one! I believe god/s exist as there is no convincing explanation to say it (yes god is IT for me) does not, as there is no convincing explanation for how this universe came into existance! 

I believe in my religion and in every other too. I have friends across religions. I go to churches, gurudwaras , dargas in the same way I go to temples - with the same discipline!  I believe religion   is a faith, a hope, an inner strength!

I talk about, learn about, make fun of , all religions in the same way. I discuss about similarities and differences of different religions with like minded friends. But never with strangers because I believe religion is personal. 

I can watch a movie like PK as an entertainment as I watched a movie like Slum dog millionare! What I wouldn't do is force my ideas of good country or good religion on others. There is a difference between educating and enforcing. What I do is tell people of other countries that - I don't deny there are pockets of India similar to how it is shown in slum dog but there are other nicer parts too. I am ashamed of parts which is not good but proud of others! If I can change the parts I am ashamed of I will do my best, if I cannot I am ashamed of that too! Same goes with PK! I can view different drawings of the different gods(don't we have 1000s?) , read any book in a same way!

I cannot be offended and protest against them because I am too proud of myself and my culture so things like a movie, a drawing, a picture , a book will not affect me and make me lose control!  My upbringing has thought me how to ignore the ignorance! 

Terrorism is not a religion. If terrorist say things similar to some religion, it does not mean they belong to that religion. They belong to a group called terrorists no matter what they say. They belong to a cult called inhumane, I cannot even compare them to animals as animals are gentler. 

Now many of you will start thinking I belong to the religion whole world have been thinking is the religion of these terrorists! I know I can confuse people when I go to church covering my arms and legs , darga and gurudwara covering my head. What I am doing there is just respecting that religion, its faith, its culture. I do not lose anything by it so why not do it ? is my attitude. 

I believe in a religion which according to sarvepalli Radhakrishnan , a president of India - is not just a faith, It is the union of reason and intuition that cannot be defined, but is only to be experienced. I believe in brahma, vishnu, maheshawara in the same way I believe in Jesus, Prophet, Gurugobind and many more.

Yes I am a proud Theist who believes in karma and the quote by Wayne Dyer - 'How people treat you is their karma how you react is yours'.

Single Child

I, me, myself Society Times Crest

First Few weeks

We Indians hadn't heard about the word POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION till recently. But I think we Indian mothers suffer from this more, as lots of things surrounding us adds fuel to the medical condition. Imagine each and every member of the large extended family giving suggestions to how to bring up the baby, visits from everyone not only disturbs the baby but also mother :), but can we help it?

This is where mothers have to put the foot down. Please do not disturb the baby - whoever the visitor is, baby doesn't know them, will not know even with introductions. So don't bother to wake the sleeping child, newborns need lots of sleep, and when the baby sleeps mother can also rest, it helps a lot for the depression.

It takes time for the baby to get adjusted to the outside world, help the baby by setting the feeding time and the sleeping time - all with trial and error method. First 2-3 weeks feeding will be every 2 hours, and the baby will sleep all the other time. Gradually it''ll increase to 4 hours with waking hours also increasing to 3-6 hours per day. Adjust these waking hours to coincide with bathing/feeding/diaper changing time and also few mins playtime in the evening.

once you do this you can forget about sleepless nights :). It depends on you whether you want to spend few weeks adjusting the baby to your timings or spend rest of your life to get adjusted to baby's timings and suffer with sleepless nights which will surely add on to the depression.